IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE

November marks the beginning of my foray into motherhood. It was a long journey and didn’t happen as planned…but then again life rarely does.

In the beginning of our marriage I was adamant that I did not want children. I enjoyed our lifestyle and our ability to “pick up and go.” I loved not having to carry a bunch of bags and contraptions to the car every time we wanted to leave the house. I loved the disposable income that allowed us to have a carefree lifestyle. Put simply, I loved the freedom. However; two years in, it suddenly hit me…I wanted a baby. In fact, I wanted a baby immediately. I solicited advice from others and did EVERYTHING I was supposed to do to get pregnant… quickly. My cabinets overflowed with ovulation tests and  romantic rendezvous became… less romantic and more like a job. However, after several months of trying…it did not happen. I decided to see a doctor.

I sat in silence in the car after my doctor’s appointment. I couldn’t move. A million thoughts raced through my head. “My grandmother gave birth to thirteen children. My parents have six children. My mom blinked her eyes and she was pregnant; I should be able to get pregnant on demand. What does the doctor mean she thinks I have a “disorder” and might have a difficult time conceiving? This isn’t supposed to happen to me! I did everything right. Heck, I’ve blinked my eyes and even clicked my heels.”

I called my mom and Kwabs after leaving the doctor’s office, that day. My heart was heavy. As tears streamed down my face, I explained that the doctor thought there was a medical reason why we were unable to conceive. Suddenly, I was confronted with the prospect that children might not be in the cards for us. I was scared.

With some trepidation I decided to get a second opinion. The first doctor’s diagnosis was wrong! The second doctor determined that I was healthy. He informed me that most people don’t get pregnant overnight and that I needed to be patient. My grandmother and mom are aberrations. Several months later we joyfully shared the news with our loved ones that we were finally pregnant. As I reflect back on that experience, I am truly thankful that, in spite of the stress and uncertainty, I became a mommy.

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In the midst of reflecting on the month of November and what I am thankful for, I made another pencil skirt. I absolutely love the color of this fabric, but this skirt is TOO tight! I made it based on a tutorial I found online. Clearly my version of the skirt required more fabric. Lesson learned.

What are some times in your life when things did not go as planned?

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9 thoughts on “IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE

  1. Camile, the younger me didn’t want children either for mostly the same reasons you cited but that’s one of the things in my life that didn’t go as planned, my college life! I never planned on marrying my college sweetheart (or anyone else for that matter), never planned on getting pregnant in college, never planned on having twins, then the Dr.’s told me they wouldn’t make it as I was in preparation term labor at 6 months, I couldn’t imagine my life without them! I’m so thankful they beat the odds, they were my motivation to return to college & graduate. I’m so happy, life didn’t happen as we plan sometimes. God knows best!
    I love the color of that pencil skirt & your hair is Gorgeous, you look stunning!

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    1. During my first pregnancy my ob/gyn discovered I had several cysts on my ovaries and one really large one that she felt required immediate attention via surgery. The great risk of surgery was losing the baby. The risk of not having the surgery was cancer. I was terrified. I told a co-worker about it and she said “my dad is the head of the ob/gyn department AT YOUR HOSPITAL and I will get you in to see him”. Results- My cysts were common during pregnancy, they would go away soon and I didn’t need surgery. A second opinion is ALWAYS ALWAYS necessary. Baby 1 is 15 and annoying, but she’s here!

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      1. Thank God for second opinions. This is an amazing story. To think she may not have been here if you went with the first opinion. Sometimes I think we experience things solely so that we can share and empathize with others.

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    2. Thanks for sharing…your response made me think of Jeremiah 29:11 and Isaiah 55. His plans for our lives don’t always mirror our own plans but his plans are perfect. Thanks for reading and the compliment.

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  2. Camille: both my sons were pleasant accidents, especially this 4yr old. My husband & I were having trouble in paradise, we divorced. I went back on birth control and avoided men all together for a long while. A year after our divorce, we took a trip together as peaceful friends, too many cocktails and too many pleasant words later with my ex-husband; next thing you know we were conceiving a love child. Pregnant with your IUD is what the doctor said 20-weeks later. Huh? What? How? But i havent had sex in years, wait surprise but I had……fast forward 4yrs later, we are re-married, happier than ever and new parents to this miracle baby. God has a sense of humor I suppose?

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  3. First things first, I absolutely LOVE this skirt. I love the color and length! I wish it fit better for you….

    I can totally relate to enjoying the freedom of not having kids when you first got married. I’ve been married for almost 3 years now and recently got the bug for kids.

    Thanks for being so transparent with something so personal. I’m happy that you’ve been able to conceive! Life sure does have a way of creating the unexpected.

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    1. Thanks so much! I agree life is full of surprises. I wish you all the best as you decide whether or not to expand your family. By the way I love your creations!! It’s inspiring to me that you have only been sewing for a few years. Perhaps one day I will be as good as you are. In the meantime do you ever get tired of it? I find myself getting so frustrated when there are a ton of pieces in a pattern and the instructions aren’t clear for a beginner. I keep telling myself to stick with it for at least a year but there are days when I seriously want to quit. Any advice??

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      1. Thank you! Thats such a compliment! I’m still learning as I go….
        Whew… good question! I loathe lots of pieces and instructions. I start a lot of projects that just don’t get finished because I get so frustrated…. I would definitely suggest sticking with it. Getting good at anything means we have to go through lots of lessons in between (especially since we’re self taught ).
        You’re doing such a great job! keep pressing forward!!

        As for me and my hubby, we are trying/starting to decide as we speak, so I’m anxious to see where this goes 🙂

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