November marks the beginning of my foray into motherhood. It was a long journey and didn’t happen as planned…but then again life rarely does.
In the beginning of our marriage I was adamant that I did not want children. I enjoyed our lifestyle and our ability to “pick up and go.” I loved not having to carry a bunch of bags and contraptions to the car every time we wanted to leave the house. I loved the disposable income that allowed us to have a carefree lifestyle. Put simply, I loved the freedom. However; two years in, it suddenly hit me…I wanted a baby. In fact, I wanted a baby immediately. I solicited advice from others and did EVERYTHING I was supposed to do to get pregnant… quickly. My cabinets overflowed with ovulation tests and romantic rendezvous became… less romantic and more like a job. However, after several months of trying…it did not happen. I decided to see a doctor.
I sat in silence in the car after my doctor’s appointment. I couldn’t move. A million thoughts raced through my head. “My grandmother gave birth to thirteen children. My parents have six children. My mom blinked her eyes and she was pregnant; I should be able to get pregnant on demand. What does the doctor mean she thinks I have a “disorder” and might have a difficult time conceiving? This isn’t supposed to happen to me! I did everything right. Heck, I’ve blinked my eyes and even clicked my heels.”
I called my mom and Kwabs after leaving the doctor’s office, that day. My heart was heavy. As tears streamed down my face, I explained that the doctor thought there was a medical reason why we were unable to conceive. Suddenly, I was confronted with the prospect that children might not be in the cards for us. I was scared.
With some trepidation I decided to get a second opinion. The first doctor’s diagnosis was wrong! The second doctor determined that I was healthy. He informed me that most people don’t get pregnant overnight and that I needed to be patient. My grandmother and mom are aberrations. Several months later we joyfully shared the news with our loved ones that we were finally pregnant. As I reflect back on that experience, I am truly thankful that, in spite of the stress and uncertainty, I became a mommy.
In the midst of reflecting on the month of November and what I am thankful for, I made another pencil skirt. I absolutely love the color of this fabric, but this skirt is TOO tight! I made it based on a tutorial I found online. Clearly my version of the skirt required more fabric. Lesson learned.
What are some times in your life when things did not go as planned?