AM I A BAD MOM?

The alarm started blaring at exactly 5am. I jumped out of bed.
The still-black sky greeted me.

Only 45 minutes to get dressed and finish packing before my cab arrived…
At 5am I am usually wearily dragging around the house with sleep coating my lids. But, not today. I had boundless energy and a big smile on my face. Not only did the day mark the start of a much-needed break, I was headed on vacation without my husband and kids! Five whole days without being called “mommy.” Five whole days with no one asking why we needed to go to the mall. Again.

I sometimes envy moms who proudly proclaim phrases such as:

I love being around my kids 24-7.
I wouldn’t dream of taking a vacation without my babies!
My husband and I don’t do anything without each other.

And sometimes I can hardly suppress the urge to roll my eyes.

Although I LOVE my babies and husband and genuinely enjoy their company, I also LOVE having time to myself.

I braced myself for judgement when I told people that I was leaving the country to go on a girls’ trip and that Kwabs would stay home with the boys. I knew some of them would inwardly shake their heads and assume that my maternal instincts were out of whack. They would question how I could leave my “poor” husband alone with a 4 year old and 10 month old. After jubilantly sharing my vacation plans, I always felt the need to reassure them that I laid out all of the boys’ clothes, made sure the house was clean, had stocked the fridge with food, and arranged for pick-up and drop-off to the sitter and daycare.

Of course my guilt didn’t keep me at home. I practically ran down the jet-way and glanced back twice…
to make sure Kwabs and the boys didn’t trick me and follow me on the plane!

I enjoyed every minute of my trip…the lazy days by the pool, the massage, the meals that didn’t require me to feed someone else before I ate, the long showers (without an audience), and the uninterrupted sleep in a bed all by myself! It was a dream.

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I think all moms need a break sometimes. We need to relax and recuperate from all the work that goes into being wives, mommies, employees, etc. . . . We need to hang out with our girlfriends and laugh as we share details about our families, our futures, and our pasts. We are better moms after we make time for ourselves. I returned from my trip rested, re-energized and ready to give my all to my family. I also made it home in time for Halloween which was Max’s only request in addition to bringing him Legos.

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After I got back into the swing of things I finished this cute pencil skirt! What do you think of the skirt? Do you ever go on vacations without your significant other and or children? Do you feel guilty? Why do you think these types of vacations are important?

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85 thoughts on “AM I A BAD MOM?

  1. I love it once again! Your writing style & your fashion style. I need a nice black pencil skirt, Good job!
    As far as taking vacations without your children & husband. I’ve been doing that since the twins were 2 years old. I would arrange for a family vacation as a family & without them every year to somewhere new. Even when I can’t get away for a vacation, me & my friends try to do a Ladies Night Out event once a month, hosted by a different person, doing different things without our significant other & without children. As a mother for 17 years I truly believe this time to myself or with my friends are necessary for rejuvenation. It truly keeps me sane. Please continue to enjoy YOUR time too. Peace

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  2. You look great in pencil skirt. Can’t wait to try it on.😄😃😀 so glad you enjoyed the girl getaway. You may want to consider an aunt getaway next.🐸🐸🐸 You should definitely NOT feel guilty for taking trips without the guys.

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  3. Camile, I look forward to time away from my twins. And, wouldn’t dare judge anyone who was a wife and/or a mother for taking some “me time”!!!

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  4. haha I don’t know any mom’s who say that they like to be around their kids 24/7. I mean most of them will tell you how much they love their kids of course but I think it’s only fair for hard working moms to take a break from time to time and head off for some fun!

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  5. I think it’s another one of those balancing acts that we are all trying to find. We have to take time to rejuvenate ourselves, but we don’t want to isolate our loved ones in the process.

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  6. You are so NOT a bad mom for enjoying a vacation! You are human. I love my boy 24/7, too, but I enjoy that time after he goes to bed and I get to enjoy time with my husband…and those times when he goes to his grandparents and I get to relax! The time away makes us both love each other even more!

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  7. I think it’s great to get a break if you can. I was never away from my kids when they were babies, but when they got older I was. Of course that was a long time ago. I’ve kept my grandkids several times so that my daughter and her husband could have a vacation and a little peace and quiet. If you can swing it, good for you!

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  8. Beautiful skirt! I haven’t had a holiday without my husband or my daughter so far, but I’m planning one. I think that a little bit of alone time is necessary for everyone and vacationing without your family does not make you a bad mom.

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    1. Thanks! I love vacationing with just my husband too. However, on the girls trip we spent one entire day shopping and that would never happen if Kwabs was on the trip. He would have complained the entire time. Lol

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  9. I think this is amazing!! You are SO right. It is so important to get away and have some girl time with friends. You are an incredible Mom for recognizing that you need this, and doing something about it! Love this post!!

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  10. Of course you’re not a bad mom! I’m a 24/7 stay at home mom so I understand that we all need breaks sometimes! I went to the store with my one year old for just an hour and it was awesome. No shame in it. We’re still great moms 😊

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  11. Great post! Love the skirt and your philosophy on mommy vacations. A worn out mommy is no fun at all – and they all appreciate you so much more on your return. 😀

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  12. Great post! I am sort of in between here… When it comes to these vacations. I love going on family vacations and then taking time away while we are all there together. I think the longer I am married the more I will come over to your side. The other day I was home alone and it was awesome…lol

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  13. You’re not a bad mom at all. Everyone is different. I have no desire to go on vacation without my family. We bring someone with us to look after the kid if we want to sleep or go out at night. That’s how we do because that’s what we enjoy. I totally understand that some women do not enjoy that all the time and there’s nothing wrong with that. Looks like a fabulous vacation!

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  14. I think all moms are different. Some do need time away from their families while others don’t. One of the beautiful things about motherhood is that it’s not one-size fits all. I have and do travel without my husband a lot. In fact, we’ve been together almost 11 years and have only taken one trip together. However, I travel with my kids pretty much 98% of the time. Thankfully, I’ve always been blessed to have a trusted family member travel with us and I’m able to enjoy alone time for most our trip, but it’s always important that we start and end our days together as a family under one roof. As they get older, I do see this arrangement changing though.

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    1. I totally agree. We are all different and need different things. I need girls trips at least once every two years. My husband said he was overwhelmed after this one so I hope he will still be on board with my plans in another year or so! Lol Good for you that you are still able to get some time alone on your vacations.

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  15. You are an awesome mom. You are realistic and are real with yourself… My oldest is now a freshman in college and my little one is 9. I’m going on a cruise in 13 days all by myself. As working moms, we work hard and need to play hard…. As far that the black pencil shirt, you’re rocking it….!!!

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  16. I just went on my first girl’s trip, ever. I did feel a little guilty about leaving my fiance and my son at home to fend for themselves, but I still went. Also, I had such a great time! I missed them of course, but it was so needed. I feel totally refreshed and less grumpy now 🙂

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  17. Taking time out for an international girls’ trip is awesome! I am currently in the middle of one right now at my vacation home in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. I fly here three times each year for about six weeks at a time with a series of various girl friends of mine, and then my husband flies in to join me once our girls’ vacation is complete. It’s important to keep connected with life-long friends and water those friendships. It’s also vital to remind yourself of who you are in addition to being a devoted wife and mother. There should never be any feelings of guilt involved. Everyone needs a lovely break from the normal routine!

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  18. My girls trips are something I look forward to EVERY YEAR. We plan them super far in advance and I really think they help keep us sane. There’s NOTHING wrong with needing to get away. I grew up with parents that traveled separately. Dad headed into the mountains and Mom headed to the beach with a Mai Tai. Every few years they would tag along with each other, but for the most part they were happy letting each other be happy. Good for you for taking your trip. It sounds wonderful.

    xoxo
    Katie
    http://beyondtheclothing.com

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    1. I love that you are able to take one every year! My husband said he was overwhelmed with the boys so I’m not sure I can swing every year but I’m sure I can at least do a weekend getaway. I love that your parents took separate trips sometimes. My mom was never able to…there were six of us kids. However, my dad took frequent business trips. She definitely got the short end of the stick.

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  19. Camille,
    My friends and I took extended weekend twice a year. Galena, IL, quad cities in Moline IL,(half way between Demoyne Iowa and Chicago) Where a good friend moved to.
    Bottom line we laughed we cried and those to weekends a year kept me sane! The best things I ever did for my marriage and my motherhood. You go girl and you will come back refreshed and stronger for it. You are such an amazing woman!

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    1. Donna I was just thinking about you! My friends and I need to start doing weekend get aways a few times a year. I can just imagine how much you guys must have looked forward to those times. Kwabs said my trip left him feeling overwhelmed so next time I’m going to go away for a shorter period of time. However perhaps I’ll agree to make the trips shorter in exchange for taking them more often. Thanks so much!

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  20. Sounds like you had an amazing and fun trip!

    Such an honest post! I love it. I don’t think alone time is selfish at all! How can you take care of anyone else if you don’t care enough to take care of yourself is how I like to think about it. I think it would be great (if you have the time and money) to take a trip with family, as a couple, and with friends every year.

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